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The Career Center
Indiana State University
Make the Career Center your first choice for career information throughout your time at Indiana State University.
Our home page can help you access information and services without coming to campus.
Stop in and see us at: http://career.indstate.edu
The Art of Marketing Yourself at a Social Gathering
By CATHY MCGREGOR FOSTER and SONJALA ALLEN
Although you should always use every job search resource available, networking will expose you to the largest number of job opportunities in the shortest length of time. Because 75 - 80 % of all job openings are never advertised anywhere, the key to finding a good job is networking!
What is Networking?
Networking involves building and keeping relationships - and should be beneficial to both parties. Few of us were ever taught the interpersonal skills needed to develop relationships with strangers, and thus do not employ the one single talent - networking - that sets exceptional business leaders apart in their ability to develop business relationships.
Moreover, networking skills are vital for professionals to manage their careers in today's volatile marketplace. However, with practice and preparation, you can overcome a shyness or reluctance to meet people in any situation.
Improving Your Networking Skills: Some Tips
Here are areas that may hinder your ability to network:
- NEGATIVE SELF-TALK: Thoughts precede behavior. We need to change the
negative self-talk that inhibits us from reaching out to others. Negative
thoughts stop us in our tracks. The truth is that most people hold similar
thoughts in group situations, and therefore take no action to initiate
conversations. Yet they wait in the hope that someone will approach them in a
friendly manner!
Change thoughts from negative to positive. Remember:
- People like to talk about themselves.
- People are flattered when you show an interest in them.
- People reciprocate your sincere interest.
- You won't waste people's time. If they don't want to talk, they'll just move on. Don't take it personally and, likewise, move on.
- You can change your behavior. You weren't just born one way.
- Your value is intrinsic, not based on status (for example, student, CEO, lawyer).
- You have more to offer others than you think. Just believe it.
- STRANGERS. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? As humans, we all have things in common.
Regardless of how sophisticated and "important" we become, we all share threads
of commonalties. When you go to a new health club, a new church, a new
synagogue, a new student organization, you have a common interest with those
people. When you go to a party, you probably know the host or hostess. At a
wedding, you have some connection with the bride or groom.
- Identify commonalties with people at an event.
- Use commonalties as the basis for conversation (ice breakers).
- Listen intently to discover commonalties that surface during your conversations with others.
- GETTING THE BALL ROLLING. The prospect of starting a conversation leaves
most people tongue-tied. Why? Because they are at a loss as to how to draw out
another person. Begin drawing by revealing. Introduce yourself and tell the
person something about yourself that identifies your common interest.
Prepare a self-introduction that is clear and interesting and well delivered. What you say about yourself will depend on the nature of the event. Remember: your introduction shouldn't take longer than 8-10 seconds. Here are examples:
- Chamber of Commerce meeting: "Hello I'm Earl Duke, an ISU student. I'm visiting your meeting to learn about Terre Haute's business community."
- Wedding: "Hi, my name is Yolanda Cruz, former roommate of the bride."
Practicing self-introductions will feel awkward, perhaps artificial. Soon it becomes natural and provides a means to draw out others. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Most people in group settings behave as guests or
hosts. Hosts meet people, start conversations, introduce others and make
sure their guests are comfortable. Guests let others take their coats,
introduce them to people, and wait upon them! Guests can wait forever if
nobody contributes to their comfort. Hosts have something to do; guests
do not! Success at any event depends on your behavior.
Change Guest Behavior to Host Behavior by assuming the responsibility to:
- Make yourself comfortable. Don't rely on others to do it for you.
- Approach others for self-introductions.
- Bring others together. Once you've met someone and have talked awhile, introduce your new acquaintance to someone else.
- Pour someone a drink, retrieve hors d'oeuvres, or whatever is needed and appropriate.
- WHAT IF...? There is always a risk of being rejected. It happens. Some
people may not respond to your introduction. If this happens, don't take it
personally. Just move on. Be outgoing and friendly. Have a sincere interest in
others and plan for networking success at events. The following are a few tips.
- Identify what you want to accomplish at a networking event before the event. (Examples: learn more about a career, develop job leads, sell a business idea, etc.)
- Treat everyone as you would like to be treated. Besides being the correct thing to do, you never know who might be helpful to you.
- Have a sense of humor.
- Physically move about. You can't work a room in a sitting position.
Things to Remember When Connecting with Others
- Prepare your attitude, focus, self-introduction, conversation, business cards, smile, and handshake.
- Act like a gracious host.
- Try strategies that feel comfortable. Read nametags. Go with a buddy. Talk to people standing on the outside edges. Approach and be approachable. Smile, listen, and care. Follow up. Call or send thank-you notes.
- Say something....anything. Don't wait - initiate. Take the risk. Listen with interest to the response. Smile and make eye contact.
- Mind your manners. Learn old and new etiquette and brush up on your manners. Acknowledge others.
- Avoid common crutches. Do not arrive too late. Don't leave too early. Don't drink too much. Don't gorge at the buffet table. Don't misuse the buddy system by joining yourself at the hip.
- Remember the three E's: Make an Effort. Bring your Energy. Exude Enthusiasm.
- Dress appropriately. If you are unsure - ask!
- Remember the four C's: Courtesy, Caring, Charm, Chutzpah (guts/courage)
- Bring your sense of humor. Use the AT&T Test: Appropriate, Tasteful, and Timely.
Set Goals - and Plan
Having a goal and a plan will make it easier to accomplish what you set out to do. Before going to your next event, take time to think about the following questions.
- What commonalties do I have with this event? (Specifically, how are these individuals like me? Are they students? People within my career interest?)
- What would inhibit me at this event?
- How can I change those inhibitions?
- What will my self-introduction include?
- What three things would I like to accomplish from networking at this event?
* Acknowledgement: Information adapted from How To Work A Room by Susan RoAne.
About the Authors:
- Cathy McGregor Foster is the Associate Director of the Career Center at Indiana State University. She received her bachelor of science in general studies with an emphasis in organizational leadership from the University of Connecticut, and her master of science from Central Connecticut State University in higher education/student development.
- Sonjala Allen received her bachelor of science in education from Purdue University, and her master of science degree in college student personnel from Indiana State University.